Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
