Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize