god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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