I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
