Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize