In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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