when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I need water and some morals
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
