i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
