I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
