Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
