Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
