Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
