I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
