I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
this will be a night to untag.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize