Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
