I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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