Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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