i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
