I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
