he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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