super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I need a beard to bite.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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