I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
