I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
