It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
