I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
