is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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