He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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