I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
