he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize