You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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