alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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