Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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