i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
