That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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