Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Help. Why am I so naked?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
