She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
