Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I need to align my fucking chakras
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
