Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
