I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
