I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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