It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
