all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
