if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
