drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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