Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
