i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
