dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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