so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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