Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
