if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize