Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
