OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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