My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
