Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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