I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I can text with my tongue
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
