This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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