If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Randomize