So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm always down for nudity.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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