o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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