I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my shit smells like andre
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
