i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
