If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
