I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
