She said her name was "party"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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