@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
